Use "I" Statements - Deepstash

Use "I" Statements

Instead of casting blame and saying things like "you did this" and "you did that," try using "I" statements.

An 'I' statement stops people from becoming defensive when bringing up a topic of concern.

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addison_ii

Thinker. Hipster-friendly coffee advocate. Infuriatingly humble organizer.

The idea is part of this collection:

De-escalate Office Tension

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Use โ€œIโ€ statements

Use โ€œIโ€ statements

Instead of telling others how awful they are, using โ€˜I statementsโ€™ expresses your own feelings and needs, especially related to the topic that is dividing you.

This creates a peaceful resolution based on meeting each otherโ€™s needs.ย 

Use โ€œI Messagesโ€

A sentence starting with โ€œYou...โ€ comes off as more of a judgment or an attack and puts people on the defensive.

If you start with โ€œI,โ€ the focus is more on how you are feeling and how you are affected by their behavior. Also, it shows more ownership of your reactions and less blame....

Reassurance

Statements like "Everything will be fine," or "It could be worse," rarely help.

Instead, try saying things like, "There's help available; we'll find it together," or โ€œIโ€™ve seen you get through extremely challenging times in the past, I believe in you.โ€

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