10 Strategies to Make Friends & Influence People | Tony Robbins
Curated from: tonyrobbins.com
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1. Extraordinary hunger and drive
- Hunger and drive set a leader apart from a follower.
- Leaders have an insatiable hunger to make something happen; they must do, create and share.
- This drive is the force that makes them unstoppable. Through their drive, they discover how to influence people and the culture around them.
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2. Exceptional and compelling vision
- Small visions have no power to inspire or move people. Instead of influencing others, you’ll be fighting for their attention.
- If you want to unlock an extraordinary life, you must have big dreams.
- This is why great leaders always have a vision larger than themselves.
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2. Exceptional and compelling vision (cont.)
- To really stand out and influence others, your vision needs to capture and grab the hearts, minds and energies of a significant number of people.
- It must be the vision of how life can be made better for a group of people, customers, a gender, a race or a country.
- There must be something that makes people want to bring their resources to the table and contribute their energy to achieve that vision.
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When you have a specific purpose that benefits those around you, others will be drawn in to help you reach your goal and they in turn will influence others to help as well.
TONY ROBBINS
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3. Absolute Certainty
- A leader always has an absolute core belief that they can bring their vision to life.
- There is true power in belief, and influencing others always starts with conviction.
- Certainty is what shapes human beings; it’s one of our six human needs.
- Uncertainty, doubt and fear are the biggest impediments to influencing others. Truly influential people understand that the fear of not following their vision is greater than any fear associated with moving forward.
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3. Absolute Certainty (cont.)
- Think about good leaders you’ve seen in action. Their passion is infectious, right?
- You’ve never seen an incredible leader say to their team, “I’m not sure we can make this work” or “Maybe I’m not the right person to do this job.”
- An incredible leader engages those around them by acting with complete certainty.
- They use their fear to push them even harder and this conviction is their key to influencing others.
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4. Passionate and Effective Communicator
- This concept is perhaps the most important thing that Tony teaches: To influence others, you must know what already influences them.
- That’s how to influence people and make real change. You must understand who your audience is and how to reach that particular audience .
- Your passion brings the energy; your effectiveness comes from knowing who your audience is and how to speak to them in a way that moves them.
- Everyone is moved in different ways, so getting this right is crucial.
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4. Passionate and Effective Communicator (cont.)
- People who are trying to influence others make the blunder of communicating in the style that works for them.
- Those who understand how to influence people know that getting to know them better is a crucial step to communication and that influencing them cannot be done without it.
- Passionate and effective communication is the only way you’ll be able to bring the energy to inspire people to do something beyond the norm – to do something extraordinary.
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5. Brilliant Strategist
- Extraordinary leaders who influence change have figured out a strategy to get from where they are to where they want to be to make their vision real.
- If they aren’t strategists by nature, they know how to recognize a strategy that’s effective and utilize it for their own agenda.
- Leaders who know how to influence others are strategic in their communication style and messaging.
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6. Ability to care, connect and break patterns
- The best way to make change and influence others is to break the current pattern.
- Leaders know this and use the same principle to challenge people, though how they challenge people varies.
- Some leaders use humor to break patterns.
- Some do it by listening more and being empathetic.
- Yet all of them have one thing in common: they truly care about those they are influencing and know how to connect with them.
- When you care enough to connect with someone and learn their patterns, you gain the ability to influence them.
- You’ll also have to learn how to influence people who have limiting beliefs that are holding them back from making necessary changes.
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7. Unreasonable expectations and standards
- To influence others and change the world, you must set a standard of unreasonable expectations.
- The only way something revolutionary happens is when you won’t settle and when you know how to influence others not to settle.
- We all get what we tolerate.
- As leaders, we must create a culture where people live bigger lives with higher expectations of what they can do and how they are treated.
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7. Unreasonable expectations and standards (cont.)
- The biggest difference between a manager and a leader who knows how to influence others is that a manager gets people to do things by supervising them.
- A leader, on the other hand, inspires people to a new standard; even when the leader isn’t there, people still live by these new rules because it’s become their standard, too.
- Unreasonable expectations change the world.
- When a leader has higher standards and knows how to influence others to adopt these higher standards as well, innovation and lasting change happens.
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8. Courage and faith to act
- Having courage means you’re afraid of a task and you do it anyway, and having faith means you’re able to work toward a challenging goal because you believe it serves a greater good.
- Leaders have the ability to tap into both; they also know how to influence people to embrace the same courage and faith.
- It’s not that leaders don’t experience fear – they just know how to dance with it instead of letting it ruin their lives.
- This inspires others to dance with their own fear and creates a domino effect that sparks lasting change.
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9. Insanely persistent, yet flexible, in their approach
- All great leaders continue to learn with every interaction and every experience.
- They never turn off that capacity for adapting to new environments or developing new skills.
- There’s something inside them that hungers to know all they can know to be able to master something that’s related to their vision.
- It’s an incredible level of persistence they can use to turn setbacks into successes.
- Leaders are flexible so they can make a change when something isn’t working.
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10. Authentic and congruent
- A true leader leads by example. When attempting to influence others, they always walk their talk.
- They never ask others to do what they are not willing to do – or have already done – themselves.
- They lead from their core values and know that influencing others is meaningless unless it comes from a place of authenticity.
- You must have authenticity to create credibility and you must stay congruent with your words and actions.
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Conclusion
- Influencing others is about working effectively with people who you have no authority over.
- When it comes from a place of empathy, compassion and a desire to elevate everyone to a higher level, influence helps make the world a better place.
- Leaders change the state of others, and the world around them, by telling an effective story.
- They say what they mean, care about those they are influencing and know how to tailor their approach to individuals or specific groups.
- They inspire others with their vision and by putting their plans into action.
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Dymphna Lanjuran's ideas are part of this journey:
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