Made up of 30 short chapters, this book is a spiritually enriching reminder of the Creator's love, which increases through everyday actions by remaining consistent with unnoticeable good deeds.We will explore the qualities and characteristics Allah SWT loves, and how we may become people who are loved by Him.I have also included some Duas (prayers) eloquently put in writing by Omar Suleiman, the author of this book 🙏🏼

This refers to the constant effort and mindset of steering back to Allah.If we were created by God to return to Him in a state that is pleasing to Him, then to demonstrate our desire to be loved by our Creator, we should show caution with things that compromise that love.The most practical way to do this is that we stop ourselves from thinking, saying or doing anything that is displeasing to Allah, we stop ourselves because we know that the greatest consequence is distance from Him.

Allah Loves..Piety

Indeed, the greatest way to be loved by Allah is to show that we fear losing that love.

May Allah show us to never compromise our love for Him, and may Allah entrench within us piety, that God-conciousness, and may Allah keep us in His favour, Ameen.

This means that we actually become closer to Allah SWT than we were before we commited the sin, we become more beloved to Him by repenting.Allah SWT didn't create us to not sin. Being sinful is part of our humanity, and forgiveness is part of Allah's attributes. We were given free will to sin, and so penitent human beings ascend even beyond the angels in rank.Allah SWT created us to know how to deal with sin properly. We acknowledge our sinfulness even when intentional, and try to get back onto the path to Him. The word tawbah means to turn back to Allah SWT

Allah Loves.. Repentance

There is no such thing as a sin that can permanently disqualify you from the love of Allah, if you repent afterwards and use that to propel yourself towards Him.

It doesn't matter what we did in our past, because He guaranteed us a better future if we learn how to deal with that past, And that will propel us towards Him. We ask Allah SWT to make us amongst those that are beloved to Him in our repentance and in our sin, and in our good deeds, Amin.

God-consciousness is the stepping stone towards excellence. To do beautiful things is to honour the sight of Allah upon us to earn extra love from Him.This leads us to hold ourselves to higher standards, so that we may distinguish ourselves and become amongst those who are especially loved by Allah SWT.You see the love of Allah through all your interactions, whether its in your worship, your relationships, your work ethics - you do this because the degree of Allah's love that you seek is that much higher.

Allah Loves.. Excellence 

In the Quran, Allah describes 3 types of self:<ol><li class="ql-align-center">The soul that commands itself with evil, that indulges in evil.</li><li class="ql-align-center"> The soul that is accountable, the self of God-consciousness.</li><li class="ql-align-center">The soul that is at peace with Allah, that is the person of excellence.</li></ol>

We ask Allah to make us the Good Doer, who are at peace with the favour of their Lord, who will always find His excellent favour on the Day of Judgement, and be amongst those motivated by His love before anything else, Amin.

Angels have no choice but to obey Allah SWT whereas a human being goes beyond obedience, carrying out acts of voluntary praise, voluntary love and voluntary worship. Therefore, Allah SWT allows a human being to be elevated in His sight, to a higher rank even above the angels. The words which Allah SWT chose for the angels:"سبحان الله وبحمده سبحان الله العظيم""Subhan-Allahi wa bihamdihi, Subhan-Allah-il-Azim""How perfect is my Lord and may He be praised, how perfect is my Lord, the Almighty"

Allah Loves.. Angelic Praise 

This chapter reminds us that we are in a good place if we have the ability and the will to call upon Him. Knowing that Allah SWT loves me despite how broken I am, despite how sinful I am, despite how distant I am from Him, yet he loves to hear me, in that there is a blessing.Any time Allah SWT unshackles your tongue to allow you to ask, any time Allah SWT allows you to make a request, know that He wants to give you something because He wouldn't have allowed you to make that prayer unless He wanted to answer.

Allah Loves.. Sincere Supplication 

We can become trapped in the mindset of feeling too distant from Allah SWT, that we refrain from calling out to Him sincerely. However, know that calling out to Him is a way of closing that gap and actually reducing that distance.Shaitan (the devil) invites us to commit sin, which causes the distance between us and Allah SWT. Then Shaitan invites us to feel too ashamed to turn back to Allah SWT with tawbah (repentance).This chapter provides words of encouragement to uplift the mindset from a state of doom and gloom, to one of hope and self determination.

Allah Loves.. Those Who Are Trying 

We ask Allah SWT to allow us to always be engaged in the effort of purification, to allow us to reach better states, and to always allow us to be in the state of His love even as we fall short, being in the state of repentance and being in the state of making effort for our purification, Ameen.

May Allah SWT heal our brokeness, may Allah SWT see us in our weakness and make it a reason for strength, and may Allah SWT bind us closer to Him through those moments when we feel distant from Him. May Allah SWT allow us to be used and consumed in ways that are good and in ways that are pleasing to Him, Ameen.

Tears And Traces

This chapter highlights the torment we may face when consumed with doubt as to whether Allah SWT hears us, when things feel out of control in our lives.It provides a summary for observing three levels to being in a state of absolute trust in Allah SWT.Where there is mistrust, there cannot be true love.

Allah Loves.. Trust

We ask Allah SWT first and foremost to protect us from being unjust to other people, to protect us from being complacent about injustice when it is apparent to us, to protect us from doing iniquitous things, and from judging in a way that's faulty when we find parties being swayed by some other interests.We ask Allah SWT to not judge us by His justice on the day of Judgement but to judge us by His mercy, Ameen.

Justice 

This chapter explains how we should treat people in accordance to the excellence that we seek from Allah SWT.The Prophet PBUH shows us how we can be the most beneficial to the people:<ol><li>"They put a sense of inner joy into their brothers or sisters heart". They don't just smile at them, they give them a reason to smile aswell. They are emotionally available to people, and serve as a vehicle of Allah's comfort just as they seek that from Allah for themselves.</li><li>"They remove a debt from someone". If we amplify love, mercy and kindness to others, then we will recieve more of that from Allah SWT.</li></ol>

Allah Loves.. The Beneficial People 

This chapter highlights how we are required to be in a place of emotional strength so that we are able to help someone through an emotional vulnerability, to be in a place of financial strength to be able to remove someone's debt or provide for them in their difficult time of need.Don't ever be a person who is helpless. Pick yourself up and try to be someone who is giving rather than receiving, seek to be someone who comforts rather than being the one comforted.

Allah Loves.. Strength

We ask Allah SWT to never allow us to be in need of anyone but Him, to make us people who always strive for goodness and strength and make us a people who are independant of all things but Him, for surely upon Him we are always dependant even if we don't recognize it, Ameen.

Independence 

This chapter explains how we should implement a sense of protectiveness, of honour for our family, and of people. A husband and wife should be protective of eachother in a way that they would not want either to be abused or harmed.Allah SWT encourages us to act honourably, to protect and uphold the honour of our fellow brothers and sisters. Allah SWT loves healthy pride and protective jealousy, having a great sense of honour, tied to honouring the dignity of others positively, without letting it become a means of transgression.

Allah Loves.. Honour 

This chapter explains how we should carry ourselves with dignity, gentlessness, a calm manner. It explains how the Prophet PBUH maintained composure and a sense of collectedness in the face of insults. He showed us that Allah SWT loves gentlessness in all affairs.We don't have to be aggresive or foul to denote strength, rather those things are actually a sign of weakness. So ask Allah to place gentlessness within us even when the Devil tries to stoke our anger and cause us to depart from it.

Allah Loves.. Gentleness 

This chapter goes into detail about restraining ourselves, and approaching things in a calm manner, to not be hasty, but to be intentional about the things that we do, to have self control. If we have forbearance, we are able to excercise self control, to restrain oneself.One of the names of Allah SWT is Al-Halim, One Who is forebearing. Allah tolerates our weaknesses, our wickedness, He does not punish us right away but instead He gives us a chance.Haste is from the Devil, and deliberation is from Allah SWT.

Allah Loves.. Forbearance And Deliberation 

This chapter explains how and why we should adopt a superior work ethic in all that we do. Paying attention to the details, making sure we are doing things right, bringing the spirit of due diligence and excellent work ethic together. The Prophet PBUH said: "Allah Loves that when any one of you undertakes a task, they do it right".

Allah Loves... Due Dillegence 

The Prophet PBUH said:"Do the deeds that you are able to continue with. Take up things that do not exhaust you. Allah does not tire of your worship until you tire of worshipping Allah. The most beloved deeds to Allah are the small ones, if they are consistent".

Allah Loves... Consistency 

The Prophet PBUH said that the very first thing that we will be asked about on the Day of Judgement is the fiver daily prayers. He taught us to practice this fundamental pillar with consistency. Prioritising prayer in our lives shows that we are prioritising Allah in our lives.As he was passing away, the Prophet PBUH said: "Your prayer, your prayer and treat women well".

Allah Loves... Punctual Prayers 

This chapter goes into detail regarding the physical and spiritual levels of purifying oneself by performing wudhu (the purification ritual). The Prophet said that cleanliness is half of faith. He taught us to take care of removing impurities from ourselves and making sure that our wudhu is done carefully with proper supplications.

Allah Loves... Cleanliness 

We ask Allah to make us amongst those who are spiritually purified and physically purified when we go to meet Him for the sake of spiritual purification, Amin.

The Prophet PBUH said: "The most believed of places to Allah are the mosques, and the most hated of places to Allah are the marketplaces"."Don't forbid the female servants of Allah from the houses of Allah" because these houses of Allah are meant to be their homes aswell. Every single believer, even a child, is meant to regard the house of Allah as the primary home in their lives, the place that they go to for mercy, tranquility and for nourishment.

Allah Loves... The Mosque  

This chapter looks at a particular kind of love, love for Allah's sake. The brotherhood in Islam unifies people across race, class, social barriers, preferences and hobbies. It brings people together who may not have any friendship outside of something as powerful as Islam.They love each other for Allah's sake.

Allah Loves... Love

We ask Allah to make us amongst those who love and are loved for His sake and who are all brought together by loving Him and being loved by Him and that are shaded by His glory on the Day of Judgement because of His love for us and our love for Him, Ameen.

This chapter explains the importance of loving your mother, showing kindness to your parents, showing patience to them as they get older, as explained by the Prophet PBUH. There are no two people whom we can love for Allah's sake more than our parents.Allah has preferred the mother in a very special way. He has mentioned obedience to parents with obedience to Him in the Quran, that we worship and obey Him, and that we show similar level of kindness and love to our parents without ofcourse worshipping them or preferring them over the Creater.

Allah Loves... Your Mother  

"Truly Allah loves those who are pious, self-sufficient, and obscure" who are unnoticed by the people, who avoid the spotlight.It is a person who is quiet, does their service, does their worship, always greets people with a smile, who is barely noticeable in gatherings, doesn't boast and in fact they are gaining a special type of prominence in the sight of Allah.They maintain a low profile, remain quiet and have a sense of humility. They are not seeking their value through how other people see them.

Allah Loves... The Unnoticed 

The Prophet said:"Allah Loves the one who is generous when he buys, generous when he sells, and generous in repayments."The believers are more worried about being charged by Allah because they have wronged a person in business than making a little something extra. The Prophet PBUH explained that Allah is pleased with honest merchants and salesmen, with someone who doesn't cheat people or take anything extra.We see people selling tissue or other small items, it won't hurt us inshaAllah, to buy from them as a means of sadaqah, for the sake of honouring a person who is trying to earn a living.

Allah Loves... Generosity Of Trade 

The Prophet PBUH has such a comprehensive character, he gives us something to aspire to in every single aspect and element of our lives.We ask Allah to make us like the Prophet Muhammad PBUH to make us love him and to join with him under his love in Paradise, Amin.

Allah Loves.. Those Who Follow The Prophet PBUH 

"Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty."This Hadith speaks to the general mindset that we are supposed to have, especially relevant on Eid day.The Prophet said:"If Allah has given you a blessing, Allah Loves to see its effect upon you, so enjoy the blessing but don't be extravagant".Allah also says in the Quran:"Take your best appearance when you go to Allah's house". Don't boast or show off, don't attract envy. Mostly the people who are very paranoid about envy are the people who want to show off the most, who have the extravagant weddings and extravagant things, instead, be moderate.

Allah Loves... Beauty

This chapter goes into detail how Allah is loving, merciful and generous. We have a Lord who loves to be generous. Remember that we pray in the last 10 nights of Ramadhan "O Allah! You are forgiving and generous. You love to forgive, so forgive us."In the Quran, it is said:' Allah wants to lighten the burden upon you'.'Allah desires ease for you not hardship'.

Allah Loves... Acceptance Of His Gifts 

30 short chapters exploring who and what Allah loves ❤️

In Allah Loves... Omar Suleiman explores who and what Allah loves so that we may become one of those who are beloved to Him. The Prophet Muhammad said that one of the supplications of Prophet Dawud was, “O Allah I ask You for Your love and the love of those that love You and all of those actions that would bring me closer to being loved by you.” Looking at our actions, characteristics and beliefs, this book will help us become better people, citizens and believers that are deserving of Allah's endless, infinite and ever-lasting love. Made up of 30 short and spiritually enriching chapters, this book is a reminder that throughout our lives, the Creator's love is always there, increasing through everyday actions such as showing generosity or remaining consistent with unnoticeable good deeds.

religionandspirituality

Religion & Spirituality

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

mentalhealth

Mental Health

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

books

Books

In Allah Loves... Omar Suleiman explores who and what Allah loves so that we may become one of those who are beloved to Him. The Prophet Muhammad said that one of the supplications of Prophet Dawud was, “O Allah I ask You for Your love and the love of those that love You and all of those actions that would bring me closer to being loved by you.” Looking at our actions, characteristics and beliefs, this book will help us become better people, citizens and believers that are deserving of Allah's endless, infinite and ever-lasting love. Made up of 30 short and spiritually enriching chapters, this book is a reminder that throughout our lives, the Creator's love is always there, increasing through everyday actions such as showing generosity or remaining consistent with unnoticeable good deeds.

Omar Suleiman

Allah Loves

𝐖𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲.

𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐭

𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰...

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

communication

Communication

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Leadership & Management

Amazing Fact: We Are Highly Decisive

<ul><li>You're not in constant battle to make it work.</li><li>You both don't play mind games.</li><li>No withholding of affection. No silent treatment or punishments. You can disagree because that means you have open communication.</li><li>You have a life outside your relationship. No one feels threatened and you trust each other. </li><li>You enjoy spending time together. YOU, not only them.</li><li>You make important decisions together.</li><li>You can say that you became a better person by being in this relationship.</li></ul>

Never Settle For Less.

Are you curious about whether your relationship is healthy or not? Well, buckle up because, in this episode of 7 Good Minutes, we're going to dive into some key signs that indicate you're in a solid and loving relationship.

From trust and communication to respect and support, we'll cover it all. So get ready to discover the secrets of a happy and healthy partnership.

Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share it with a friend or two!

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Mindfulness

teamwork

Teamwork

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Meditation

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Podcasts

7 Good Minutes Daily Self-Improvement Podcast - Is Your Relationship Healthy?

Have you ever stopped to think about how many times a day you make judgments about people, situations, or events? It's a common habit that we all engage in. For instance, when we meet someone, we tend to judge how they look and make assumptions about their lifestyle.

Being judgmental means looking at things through a lens of criticism

Judgment is a cognitive ability that helps us assess people, situations, and relationships based on the sensory evidence available to us to come to conclusions and make decisions.It’s important for us to wield it carefully and not be overly critical of others.

What Judgement Really Is

<ul><li>Wider horizons: Looking at circumstances without judgment allows you to consider additional perspectives outside of your own awareness and gain helpful insights into what other people experience. It can also help you increase empathy and compassion for people who may be different from you.</li><li>More positivity: Judgment comes from a place of negativity. Being less judgmental allows you to view the world with a more positive outlook.</li><li>Improved relationships: Feeling judged alienates others and makes it hard for them to trust you. </li></ul>

Benefits of Being Less Judgmental 

Pay Attention to Your Thoughts The first step is to recognize that you’re doing it. Start paying more attention to your thoughts, so you can identify when you’re being judgmental. Look for thoughts or phrases like: <ul><li>“What is [person] doing/saying/wearing?"</li><li>"[Person] should be doing [action] instead of [action].”</li><li>“This [person/thing] is so [negative adjective].”</li></ul>

6 Ways to Be Less Judgmental 

Question Your Assumptions If you have a negative view of someone, ask yourself what it’s based on. Did you formulate your view based on facts? Do you have all the relevant information or do you need to inquire further about the situation? Make an effort to explore all the possible sources of information before coming to a conclusion. If this isn’t possible, consider leaving your opinion neutral or open-ended.

Recognize Your Biases Be aware of your own biases and cultural standards. Recognize that your own view of life is limited based on your own experiences.Remember that other people with different cultural, social, professional, religious, or ethnic backgrounds may not share the same views. Try to put yourself in their shoes and see things from their perspective.

Be Empathetic Practice empathy and compassion for people, even if they look, think, dress, speak, or act differently than you do.Think about how you have felt when someone formed an opinion of you that wasn’t accurate. Did you feel hurt, angry, upset, ashamed, embarrassed, or disappointed? Let those feelings guide you toward being more compassionate toward others.

Expand Your Horizons Expose yourself to new ideas and perspectives. Meet new people and talk to them about their lives. Experiment with different activities and try new foods. Read lots of books and watch informative content. Travel as much as you are able to.

Practice PositivityWith practice, you can develop a more positive mindset. If you catch yourself thinking something negative about something or someone, challenge yourself to see something positive in the situation instead.You can also take a few minutes every night to list the good things that happened that day and be thankful for all the things you’re grateful for.You can choose to do this exercise by yourself in your mind. Or you can note it down in a journal or practice it with a loved one.

Did this resonate with you? I just wrote an article on how we get automatic negative thoughts that hinder our judgement, <a href="https://medium.com/@parakhkatyal/negativity-hinders-judgment-5873fd87051e">here’s a link. </a>

This article explores the characteristics of judgmental people, discusses the benefits of being more open-minded, and suggests some ways to be less judgemental.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

habits

Habits

How to Be Less Judgmental

hen you're in a healthy romantic relationship, it just feels different. You experience a whole list of emotions that are sure signs you love someone and are loved in return.But how do you know when you're in love with someone and it's time for you to stop searching and make a commitment?

You think it's love. Yes, it's love. Sure it's love! Wait ... is it, though?

You can try using your rational judgment and checking off the boxes on your ideal partner list, but falling in love isn't always so neat and tidy. In the end, it comes down to how they make you feel — <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/self/trust-your-intuition-gut-feeling">because feelings don't lie </a>.

Your emotions are meant to protect you from making unhealthy relationship choices. You instinctively know how the right relationship doesn't feel. It's not constricting, maddening, suffocating, closed, unstable, or depressing. Quite the opposite, in fact.Being in love with "the one" feels, well ... good.Aside from the racing heart and giddy headiness of romantic love in its early stages, <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/love/cant-stop-thinking-about-someone">love brings on physiological changes</a>

How does it feel to be in love?

<a href="https://www.spring.org.uk/2023/03/psychology-of-love-relationships.php">Neuroscientists researching the effects of love </a>on the human brain have found "empirical evidence of love-related alterations in the underlying functional architecture of the brain." Research has also found that experiencing love within <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/love/relationship-experts-share-things-make-wives-feel-seen">healthy long-term relationships and marriages </a>can activate centers in the brain and act as a protective mechanism against physical and emotional pain and stress. Of course, love isn't all roses.

Even in the healthiest relationships and marriages, emotions can and do fluctuate. It's normal to experience a full range of emotions with your partner, including those we tend to think of as negative, such as frustration, anger and hurt.

Love is love, but making and keeping a commitment is a choice you make every day. You must listen to your heart in order to make the best decisions for yourself and your future. If you're stuck on the fence about your partner and whether or not they're right for you, it's time to connect with your heart and be brutally honest with yourself about what you're feeling.

If you're still feeling anticipation after the honeymoon period, you're in great shape! Do you feel excited when you're together? Real love brings enthusiasm and awakening to experience pleasure and new things.

1. You Feel Excited

Being in their arms feels like a safe harbor. You never fear them or their actions. <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/love/how-create-secure-relationship">You trust them explicitly </a>and you take comfort in knowing they'll never intentionally lie, cheat, or break your heart.

2. You Feel Secure

You know you can live your values and be who you are around them — your authentic and unfiltered self. They make you feel support when you're going for your dreams, perhaps even when no one else understands them.

3. You Deel Accepted

You feel capable of solving any problem and acting on your own behalf. You're a free agent with skills and dreams and a whole world out there to conquer.

4. You Feel Empowered

You feel attractive in your own skin and you know that your partner loves all of you. They often tell you that you are beautiful — inside and out. Thus, there is confidence that radiates and shines from within you.

5. You Experience A Feeling Of Radiance

Your heart feels two sizes larger. Not only do <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/2022348748/what-kindness-should-really-mean-todays-world">you have kindness and generosity </a>to show your family, friends, neighbors, and fellow citizens, you have compassion for yourself. This type of love makes you want to nurture yourself and be the best person you can be.

6. You Feel Better Able To Express Xompassion

You envision a future for yourself that is positive, successful, and happy. No matter what is thrown at you, you have faith that you can overcome it. Together, it's the two of you, for the world!

7. You Feel Hopeful

There is a lightness about you and your relationship. Beyond fun and laughter, which you experience regularly, you are overcome with delight and pleasure whenever you even think of them.

8. You Feel Joyful

Whether you're sitting side by side or far away, you feel the other's presence. It feels like there is an invisible string that connects you. You communicate without saying a word and when you're intimate, the world falls away around you.

9. You Feel A Unique onnection

Like Jerry Maguire said, "You complete me." Yes, you may feel like a jigsaw puzzle that fits perfectly together. But, soulmate love will make you feel whole in your own right and full of purpose. If you’re lucky enough to experience these feelings, you'll know <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/love/how-know-right-relationship-for-you">you're in the right relationship </a>. This type of love will sustain you through life's challenges, and your bond will get stronger over time. Trust your feelings. They won't steer you wrong.

10. You Feel Like You Are A 'Complete' Person

How Do You Know When You're In Love With Someone? Here Are 10 Signs You're In Love With Someone And They Love You Right Back.

10 Signs You're In Love With Someone (& They Love You Right Back)

To be "lonely" is to feel cut off from Creator's grace and unable to connect with Him due to the effects of sin ( disconnection). This feeling of loneliness can cause us to feel discouraged, frustrated, and even hopeless.

LONELY WHEN CUT OFF FROM SOURCE

When life's stressors seem too much to take,It's loneliness that can make us ache;We can't just blame the stressors we face,It's the loneliness that makes us feel out of place.

You are consistently making mountains out of molehills.

Despite my consistent efforts, I was never able to truly find my place. I felt like I was struggling against the current, unable to make any real progress. Despite all my hard work, I could not seem to break through the barriers that were keeping me from feeling connected and part of a community. I felt like my efforts were futile, and the situation seemed hopeless. I was a prisoner of my own making, unable to find my way out.

Always An Outsider 

My inner strength and courage grew as I learned to trust in the process, and to have faith in the divine plan for my life. I found a sense of solace in the knowledge that I have a purpose in this life, and that I am part of something greater than myself. I am now able to find joy in the present moment and to be in tune with my spiritual side. My faith has become my refuge and my source of strength, allowing me to live a life of purpose and peace.

God Is My Only Solace

Although I still experience moments of loneliness, I am confident that I am never truly isolated. Through my faith, I recognize that God is ever-present in my life and will continue to guide me in the years ahead. I am thankful for the journey that has brought me to this point and have come to understand that true contentment is found from within; I no longer need to rely on others to feel complete.

Still Feel The Tinge

If you're experiencing one or more of these nine symptoms, you could have loneliness to blame — even if you don't feel lonely at all. Weight gain, binge-watching TV, and an increase in shopping could all indicate that you're feeling a little lonely.

health

Health

9 subtle signs that you're lonely — even if it doesn't feel like it

An attachment style is a specific pattern of behavior in and around relationships. According to attachment theory, first developed by psychologist Mary Ainsworth and psychiatrist John Bowlby in the 1950s, a person's attachment style is shaped and developed in early childhood in response to their relationships with their earliest caregivers.

<ul><li>Childhood source: when caregivers consistently fulfill a baby’s physical and emotional needs</li><li>Adulthood charactrristics: able to trust others and be trusted, love and accept love, and become close to others with relative ease.</li></ul>They're not afraid of intimacy, nor do they feel panicked when their partners need time or space away from them. They're able to depend on others without becoming totally dependent

1. Secure attachement, the healthy ideal of relationship

A secure attachment style doesn’t mean you can take for granted that your relationships will be smooth sailing. If two securely attached people are in a relationship, they’re starting out from a better position, but relationships take work for everyone, no matter your attachment style.

Tips for people with secure attachement style

<ul><li>Childhood source: When primary caregivers aren’t consistent in meeting a baby’s needs </li><li>Deepest fear: Abandonement</li><li>Adulthood characteristics: neediness or clingy behaviour</li></ul> People with an anxious attachment style tend to be very insecure about their relationships, often worrying that their partner will leave them and thus always hungry for validation.

2. Anxious attachement or anxious-preoccupied attachment

People with an anxious attachment can benefit from what we call ‘rituals of separation, like texting during the day to tell that we're thinking of them. They make a conscious effort to acknowledge that they’re leaving and also that they will be back.

Tips to help them to feel confident 

<ul><li>Childhood source: when a caregiver doesn’t provide a baby with sufficient emotional support</li><li> Deepest fear: Intimacy</li><li> Adulthood characteristics distant, emotionally unavailable, may find relationships suffocating and avoid them completely, preferring to be independent and rely on themselves.</li></ul>People with an avoidant attachment style tend to have trouble getting close to others or trusting others in relationships, because they ultimately don't believe their needs can get met in a relationship.

3. Avoidant attachement or dismissive-avoidant attachment 

Actively observing your own emotions and considering how you pull away from others will require a lot of work. But that effort can be an eye-opening way to help understand your style and learn to let others in.

Tips for people with avoidant attachement style

(the combination of both the anxious and avoidant attachment styles)<ul><li>Childhood source: forms through a particularly tumultuous childhood, often one that may be marked by fear or trauma</li><li>Adulthood characteristics: difficulty regulating emotions, heightened sexual behavior, and increased risk for violence in their relationships.</li></ul>They are reluctant to develop a close romantic relationship, yet at the same time, feel a dire need to feel loved by others

4. Fearful-avoidant attachment,

Some people who have a disorganized attachment style can often benefit from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), a type of talk therapy that’s especially helpful for people who experience very intense emotions.

Tips for people whith fearful-avoidant attachement

(Tips are from: https://health-clevelandclinic-org.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/health.clevelandclinic.org/attachment-theory-and-attachment-styles

The way our caregiver may treat us during childhood can have a big impact on how we manage relationship, our attachement style

There are four different attachment styles that people may have in relationships, and they're often caused by childhood experiences.

parenting

Parenting

The 4 Attachment Style  (With tips on how to overcome the unhealthy)

The concept of Love Languages was originally developed by Dr. Gary Chapman and popularized by his 1992 book, The 5 Love Languages. Truity's 7 Love Styles assessment updates and expands the concept to put emphasis on what really matters in modern relationships.

The 7 love language

Feel special and valued when: their partner takes an interest in their hobbies and interests and makes an effort to enjoy activities together. The motivation here is togetherness, but it's about more than just spending quality time with a partner.

QUALITY TIME

Feel special and valued when: their partner gives them praise and compliments. For them, words are more important than deeds. They want to feel that their partner is paying attention to their personal qualities and the little triumphs of their lives

APPRECIATION

Feel special and valued when: their partner is able to connect with them and support them through tough emotions. This type feels loved when they receive caring support during emotionally challenging or vulnerable times.

EMOTIONAL

Feel special and valued when: when their partner shows generosity with finances in order to bring them joy. Treats and surprises are certainly part of this love style, but it is not limited to receiving gifts. Rather, it describes a larger desire for a partner who is willing to use their financial resources in a variety of ways to help and delight their significant other

FINANCIAL

Feel special and valued when: their partner values their intelligence, respects their opinion, and takes part in thoughtful discussion of important issues. It focuses more specifically on a meeting of minds and valuing each other's intelligence. People with the Intellectual love style like to connect through the mind.

INTELLECTUAL

In order to maintain a beautiful relationship, we should know our partners love language. How could we show that we care for them? By knowing their love language...

Truity's 7 Love Styles test reflects recent findings that show what contemporary couples need and expect in their relationships. Love is complex. What one person needs and expects from a romantic partner can be very different from what the partner naturally gives. But having different preferences for giving and receiving love doesn't mean a partnership is doomed. The key to

The Seven Love Styles

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